Being a parent is the most beautiful role in the world, but as there are two sides of the same coin, at the same time it is the most complex one.
To be prepared to play it in the right way, you’ll need to make yourself capable of making some changes. But, don’t forget that this journey must happen a long time before you finally see those two red lines on the home pregnancy test.
These five questions might help you to decide if you still hesitate about becoming a parent or becoming a parent again.
1. DO YOU REALLY WANT A BABY OR ARE YOU SCARED BY THE TICKING OF THE BIOLOGICAL CLOCK?
A modern way of living brings along a very heavy burden. Being successful in your career demands your time, your mind and lately even your soul. Women all over the world are stuck between their wish to prosper in work and the wish of having a child. Years pass by and usually while choosing the right dress for your 35th birthday party, you suddenly start to feel incomplete and even more – sad without knowing the right cause. The biological clock has started ticking. And your ears just can’t stand its noise. This is the right time to ask yourself, do you really want to have a baby?
Dreaming about becoming a parent is one thing, and being able to raise a child in a proper way is another. According to medicine, the best age to get pregnant is between 20 and 35 years. Women in this period are the most fertile and they mostly carry the pregnancy without complications. But is this fact enough for you? Are you still indecisive? You might want to check out how much time you really have. Contact your doctor and get your anti-Mullerian (AMH) hormone checked! These results might help you reach your true desire.
2. ARE YOU READY TO PUT YOUR NEEDS IN SECOND PLACE?
Do you enjoy exercising in the gym three times a week, reading books every night and having regular Sunday coffee with your friends? Or maybe you enjoy spending the weekend evenings with your partner watching movie marathons, and you can’t imagine your life without those relaxing hours. It is probably worth considering to postpone your decision to become a mother.
Peaceful nights with an unbroken sleep are a dream when having a baby. You must be able to put your needs in second place and maybe even forget about them for some time. Maybe you’ll need a few more years to achieve everything you ever wanted - travel to desired destinations, get your Master’s Degree, learn Spanish or take dance classes. Improving yourself a little bit more in order to become a person that your child could look up to.
Bad habits are at the top of the list. If you are a smoker, you should consider quitting a long time before you get pregnant, at least six months. Children whose mothers smoked during the pregnancy have higher chances for premature delivery, low birth weight and are likely to have asthma, learning disorders or behavioural problems.
Do you like to eat fast food, having pizza later in the night? The time has come to change that habit, too. Reducing your weight should be one of the first things to do in order to prepare your body for the following transformation. It needs to be fit to pass trough all changes that are expected. So, get your first gym term appointed, right now!
3. ARE YOU EMOTIONALLY READY TO BECOME A MOTHER?
Motherhood is a great period. Full of joy, laughter, hugs and love. You become a mother of a new person that adores you, the way you sing, the way you talk. But it is also selfless period. Are you a patient person? How do you act under pressure? Do you spread out calmness and self-confidence? If you are not able to manage some hard periods full of stress like first teeth, baby colic, all-night cryings, first temperature and sore throats, you are likely to think over this decision.
4. HAVE YOU DONE EVERYTHING IN YOUR POWER TO MAKE THIS WORLD BE THE BEST PLACE FOR YOUR BABY TO LIVE IN?
Our children do not ask to be born, so it is our duty to make this world a home for them. When thinking of having a baby it would be very irresponsible not to think about the conditions they’ll live under.
- Do you have enough space in the home for another family member or you need to move?
- Are your finances stable enough to support another person?
- Do you have a job or you’ll have to give your best to find one before getting pregnant?
- What is your job’s maternity policy?
- Have you prepared a good support team for raising a child? Grandmas and grandpas or trustful nannies are more than desirable guests during the first months after the delivery.
5. IS YOUR PARTNER GOING TO BE A GOOD PARENT?
And here comes one of the most important issues. This is not about your partner being a good husband throughout the end. Your relationship will pass trough a lot of new situations that will change it. If it is shaky before the baby, it is definitely not going to improve itself when a new member arrives. Less time for each other, lack of tolerance because of the exhaustion can lead to a very difficult period, but if love is there from the beginning, only the form would change and the essence remains. Still, this isn’t about it. You must be sure that your chosen one is capable of being there for your child, no matter what. How can you predict that? Well, looking him in some specific situations might help you answer this question. Does he interact with other people’s children? Does he enjoy playing with them? Is he good at storytelling? Does he see them as cute little beings, or tries not to see them at all? Is he confident, full of understanding and tolerance? If he is, don’t let him go!
Days of happiness will come with your child. You’ll experience the period of pure and unconditional love. But if all these pros and cons make you still hesitate, your duty as a responsible grown up is to think it over until the moment you are ready to embrace this feeling, this new status, and this little person, your life’s masterpiece.